I took every personality test and now I know who I am

Sort of. Maybe. Please like me?

Over in the resources section you can find a selection of personality tests that complement Chapter Five of my book. If you know anything about my book, you’ll know I’m more than a little bit interested in understanding what makes us tick.

So, like any self-respecting midlifer with a browser history full of self-help, I turned to personality tests. All of them. The classics, the corporate staples, the slightly culty ones. If there’s a test that promises to reveal the Real Me™️ in 20 minutes or less, I’ve clicked it. Here’s what each one revealed.

DISC Personality Profile: "Persuasive Leader"

Energetic and persuasive, with a strong drive to lead and influence outcomes. You enjoy challenges, thrive in fast-paced environments, and inspire others with your enthusiasm. You prefer freedom over structure and can be impatient with details or slow decision-making.

I scored 38% Dominance, 38% Influence, 19% Steadiness, 5% Compliance.

DISC Personality Profile results

I’m an assertive, people-oriented person who values momentum, connection, and autonomy. I naturally lean into leadership, am energised by ideas and collaboration, and tend to focus on the big picture over the finer details.

I’m comfortable taking initiative and bringing others along, but I can get impatient with routine or overly structured environments. Rules feel flexible. If something isn't working, I'm likely to adapt quickly (or just redesign the system entirely).

This helped me see that my restlessness isn’t a flaw, but a signal of how I’m wired. I’m most alive when I’m leading something meaningful and surrounded by people who want to move forward, not stay still.

I’m ok with that. Five stars - bang on.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Myers-Briggs: ENFJ – The Protagonist

Your journey of personal growth is fueled by an insatiable desire for self-improvement and a genuine commitment to becoming the best version of yourself. You set high standards for your own behavior and are often your own harshest critic. While this drive can lead to remarkable personal development, it’s crucial to temper it with self-compassion and realistic expectations.

Yes, that’s right, I’m the main character - Myers-Briggs says so.

But not the cool, brooding antihero. No, I’m the inspiring but overly-idealistic one who joins every committee and takes on every cause but then starts to get tired. I will lovingly nudge you toward your potential (i.e. joining me on the school board) while simultaneously spiralling about whether I’m being too pushy.

I’ve taken this one several times, and ENFJ comes up consistently. It describes someone who is:

• Empathetic and people-focused

• Visionary and motivated by purpose

• Skilled at rallying others around ideas or causes

• Deeply attuned to group dynamics

The shadow side? Burnout from overgiving. A tendency to overfunction, to carry emotional weight for others, and to place my sense of worth in being needed.

The weaknesses this test identified were scarily on point. 3 stars, I don’t want to hear it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Myers-Briggs nailed my weaknesses

Enneagram: Type 2 with a 3 Wing – The Helper with Drive

The darkest side of the Type Two fixation appears when the Two begins to feel that they will never receive the love they deserve for all of their efforts. Under such circumstances, they can become hysterical, irrational and even abusive.

YIKES!

This one hits hard. As a Type Two I need you to need me. But with a Three wing, I also want you to admire how impressively I serve you. I’ll bring you soup when you’re sick and also casually mention that I made it from scratch during my lunch break between meetings.

At my best, I’m generous, warm, and outward-facing. I intuit what others need and often move quickly to meet it. But underneath that, there’s sometimes an anxiety: am I still worthy if I’m not useful?

The Enneagram doesn’t flatter; it invites awareness. And for me, that awareness has been illuminating.

I’ll give this one 4 stars - I don’t feel good, but I feel seen.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Big Five: Extroverted, Emotionally Sensitive, Curious

Of all the tests, this one felt the most clinical—but also the most objective. Here’s how I scored:

• High in Extroversion: I thrive on social energy, connection, and shared experiences.

• Low in Emotional Stability: I feel things intensely. That’s not always easy, but it’s honest.

• High in Agreeableness: I want harmony. I want others to feel safe and understood.

• Moderate in Conscientiousness: I care about follow-through, but I can get distracted by new ideas.

• High in Intellect/Imagination: My mind is always turning over possibilities. I live in the future as much as the present.

This profile helped me feel less alone in my contradictions: extroverted but easily overstimulated. Warm and collaborative, yet prone to self-doubt. Organised at times, yet often scattered by creative momentum.

I give this one 4 stars - it’s bang on, but it doesn’t give me a lot to work with.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think my lack of emotional stability may get in the way of my agreeableness

So who am I, really?

I’ve learned that I’m driven by relationships and purpose. That I move fast, feel deeply, and often give more than I realise. That I can be both a leader and a people-pleaser, both visionary and vulnerable.

I also learned that identity isn’t static—it shifts, softens, and sharpens depending on the context.

These frameworks didn’t give me a final answer, but they did offer a new way of understanding myself with more grace - and maybe more curiosity too. And most importantly, they gave me permission to be exactly as intense, soft-hearted, and weirdly specific as I am.

Have you taken a personality test that totally nailed you—or hilariously didn’t? Hit reply and tell me your type, sign, archetype, or Hogwarts house. No judgment (unless you’re a Capricorn sun with a Virgo moon—then I’m intimidated and also please organise my life).