Is breastfeeding part of my identity?
It is today
I have four kids. I have spent 37 months and 3 weeks pregnant (I am very fortunate to have never experienced pregnancy loss). I have delivered 15.2kg of baby (33lb7oz) and as of next month, I will have spent NINE YEARS breastfeeding.
As far as motherhood identity goes, pregnancy and delivery are pretty standard. Not ubiquitous, given the many paths there are to parenthood, but standard. Breastfeeding for this long has definitely been a choice. There have been a lot of privileges that enabled this choice:
I am able bodied and healthy
I have never had mastitis or any other complications of breastfeeding
I grew up in a home where breastfeeding was normalised
I was very well informed (my mum was a La Leche Leader but was also never preachy, thanks mum x)
I have had the kind of work that enabled pumping breaks (if not facilities)
My killer resting bitch face means that no one ever not even once has told me to put my boob away.
However, I didn’t have all the conditions you might expect to nurture extended nursing. My kids all started formal daycare somewhere between 5 and 11 months old. My second child was only 3 weeks old when I started working again because I had become a single parent.
And I’m not anti-formula: except for the first kid, they all had a bit of both. The last one on doctor’s orders because he absolutely plummeted down the growth chart from six weeks old (still completely unexplained but he seems fine?!?)
So yeah, I guess it’s something I prioritised, something that’s important to me. So that makes it part of my identity.
For how much longer? Well I guess the clock is ticking. Some weeks we go days without, other weeks he is very committed. My favourite thing about breastfeeding remains true: your child’s needs can be met without you having to get out of bed. And we all know every mum could do with more time in bed.
